Tag Archives: Radio

Depravity Killed the Radio Star

CC image courtesy of James Cridland on Flickr.

Have you dreamt of becoming famous? What would your claim to fame be? Comedy? Acting? Writing? Race car driving? Go!


It’s been about five years since the last time I was on the air. For most of my adult life, I was either in radio or wanted to get back in the business. Just so you know, I haven’t missed it these five years. I’m glad to be out.

All in all, I spent about twelve years as a disc jockey (much of that was spent at 99X in Shreveport). I guess that title has been obsolete for around fifteen years since music libraries have transitioned from compact disc to hard drive. For all I know, there are radio stations that “cloud broadcast.”

Broadcasting was a profession that didn’t come naturally to me. I had a lisp that I finally corrected in broadcasting school and any manner of public speaking was unpleasant.

It was nice being a local celebrity. Everyone knew me, but I maintained my anonymity as radio guys aren’t normally recognized or discovered except at station promotions. Generally speaking, I hated being found out. That meant I had to engage in some inane conversation. That conversation usually revolved around being on the radio or some crazy thing I did on the air.

Trust me, crazy was commonplace when I was on the air. Actually, it was utter depravity on the air. Come on, I went by Naked Jake. I wasn’t some Hot AC jock pandering to a thirty-four year old female audience. I was at an Active Rock station where my shenanigans continually had me in hot water.

Looking back at my career, I’m shocked and ashamed of what I had become. The ratings were killer. I should have stayed in country radio where I probably would have remained “respectable.” Then again, if I didn’t come unglued at a rock station, I wouldn’t have my wife or my children. I actually met Heather eleven days after I signed on. So, some good did come from those days.

Friends still try to dredge up old stories. I just shake my head at my stupidity and change the subject.

I thought I wanted to be famous. I thought I could dance in the darkness unscathed.

Then again, I guess I am famous. I’m on Wikipedia. That’s funny. I only worked there a few months before I got canned. That was my last full time radio gig.

Nuts and Feet

I remember this radio promotion I was involved with many years ago at this Active Rocker. We had front row tickets to see Tool along with passes to the pre-show party.

This was during Fear Factor’s heyday and we wanted to cash in on that notoriety. A select number of listeners were going to be abused for their big opportunity by playing Nuts and Feet.

The premise was simple. Fill a kiddie pool with mayonnaise, pork and beans, relish, and a few more ingredients. Several boiled pig feet and one boiled pig testicle were buried in this slop. Score a foot and win a free CD. Land the baseball sized pig part and win the grand prize. Oh, and you had to retrieve these items with your mouth.

The smell emanating from that pool was horrendous. I almost vomited. The smell hit a woman and she threw up. We had this stunt in a store parking lot next to a busy street. This commotion even caused a car accident.

I don’t remember who won. I don’t even care. I was too busy laughing at this spectacle.



Pack Your Bags

Names can be like baggage. For better or worse, you drag your name along for a lifetime. However, one occasionally can escape their given name only to get a worse one.

My last name is peculiar, but I like it as it is uncommon. I like to identify with it. It is especially vowel-y that intimidates strangers. It flows like cool water which is fitting as my grandpa told me it meant creek. Luoma. Loo-oh-muh. Just like it’s spelled.

My name was borrowed from my grandpa. It even soan old guy’s name. He went by Ted. That’s normal enough, but my parents insisted on calling me by my initials. TJ is the epitome of uncool. I have actually spent most of my adult life running from it.

I was a disc jockey for many years. It’s a beautiful profession. You can choose any name you want and that name is the key to becoming someone else. When I started work at an active rock station I needed a flashy name. I settled on Naked Jake.

I was around 23. I thought I needed a name that would be remembered. I chose a name that cannot be forgotten. I’m 38 with a wife and three daughters now, and it no longer feels cool. It feels like a name you would give to the creeper that hangs out at the bus stop. It can’t get much worse unless you ARE the creeper at the bus stop.

It now seems that I am saddled with a mélange of monikers. My family calls me TJ. Old radio pals know me as Naked Jake. Then there are the few who call me Theodore or Theo. I’ll answer to anything, but my favorite name is Daddy.



This post is response to the Weekly Writing Challenge on names.