Tag Archives: osteoarthritis

Hobble Like the Wind

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CC image courtesy of Wikimedia.

I remember much of what I saw on television when I was a kid. As I cope with my daily aches, I’m reminded of the commercials promoting arthritis medications. Not much has changed, but I remember my young thoughts. I was only five or six, but I was thankful that I wouldn’t have to endure arthritis when I was older. They would have a cure by then.

Thirty-three or so years later and I can tell I was mistaken. All of those Ben Gay and Anacin commercials with withered old people reflect a broken innocence. It was remarkable that I was cognizant of the deleterious nature of arthritis. I just gave science too much credit. I also remember conversations with my dad where everyone would have flying cars. At least we have the Slap Chop.

I like reading stories of other people with ankylosing spondylitis. It seems that everyone has their own combination of a litany of symptoms. I’m heartbroken to see those with fused spines. Their bodies are hunched and contorted, forever frozen in place. I wonder if that is my future.

The pain is constant and is exasperated by inactivity. It is exasperated by activity. I also have osteoarthritis in some of my joints and flat feet. The pain gets worse at night. I shuffle around like an old man in the morning.

My kids have a raw deal as I never feel well enough to participate in many activities. They take it in stride. They tell me to “hobble like the wind.”

I mentioned that I screwed up my Humira shot nine days ago. The insurance company has been difficult so I probably won’t have my next shot until Thursday. I’m ready to have a few consistent shots under my belt.

I’m encouraged by the fact that I will have a handicap placard one day. I’m also looking forward to the senior citizen’s discount at Denny’s. It seems that old people get all the perks. I say this facetiously, but I’m dead serious when I say I want a placard and a fifty five cent discount off my Grand Slam.

I forgot to mention that one day I’m going to get a cane with flames on it. Everything is faster with flames.

And You Thought Nothing Good Came From Ankylosing Spondylitis

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Image courtesy of webmd.com.

For five years, I have been battling chronic pain. My issues began with a botched vasectomy and I seem to have picked up new aches along the way. I don’t know if all of these issues are connected or not, but does it really matter?

My damaged ilio-inguinal nerve has generally calmed down, but over time I have been enduring increasing pain in my joints. My lower back has been weak for years, but I never paid it any mind. As a matter of fact, I was diagnosed with mild osteoarthritis which led me to ignore my back pain. What can you do about osteoarthritis anyway? Take NSAIDs? I can’t because I’ve already had one ulcer. I don’t intend to get another.

Then came the gout diagnosis. My uric acid level was over 9. My understanding is you want it below 4.5. My ankles felt like crushed glass. It had to be the gout. Maybe my knees were gouty. I chalked all of my lower joint pain to gout. Allopurinol should solve that.

As I became more aware of the different pain sensations and from my internet self diagnoses (believe me, there were many), I learned that gout typically doesn’t affect the same joints on either side of the body. I had white hot stabbing pains in my flat feet, but my knees and ankles had more of a crushing, radiating pain. There was no relief from the allopurinol, either.

By now I was so flummoxed I finally decided to see a rheumatologist.

Probable diagnosis: ankylosing spondylitis. It has a nice ring to it. Plus, my first Humira self-injection a week and a half ago feels promising. At 38, I still feel like I have the body of a 70 year old, but the pain is much more bearable. It always gets worse at night, but I actually had zero pain in my knees this morning. I have also been able to get around with relative ease in the morning the last few days.

It’s normally a chore to get out of bed. Oftentimes, I wake up and watch television at least a half hour before I dare to put my feet on the floor. It’s as if I’m beset with rigor mortis. Then, I get up to brush my teeth and sit on the couch awhile. The rest of my day consists of a trip to the grocery store along with another errand or two, picking up my oldest daughter up after school, and if I’m feeling especially spry, cooking dinner. Leftovers have been common as I haven’t felt like cooking lately. If there aren’t leftovers, the kids can have a can of ravioli or a fried egg. Or even better–we can have yet another supper consisting of boiled eggs. Four or five are quite filling. And I love eggs. A lot.

It’ll be 2 1/2 more months before I see the rheumatologist for a follow up. I’m sure he will make the diagnosis official. I hope there is an ankylosing spondylitis ticker tape parade.

Why a parade? I finally have a diagnosis! I’m especially blessed because my autoimmune disease is treatable. It’s not some stage 7 chemical burn on my brain where there is no hope at all. (As a general rule, if your brain is chemically liquified and drains out of your ears, that is an unfavorable diagnosis).

I’m thrilled. My wife is relieved. My kids hope the treatment will keep the pain at bay so I won’t be so cranky. Ankylosing spondylitis is no chicken dinner, but I feel like a winner. I have a diagnosis and a treatment.