…As Long As I’m Happy

How important is it to be happy? I’m aware that the pursuit of happiness is an American right, but how aggressively should happiness be pursued? Should an individual attempt to attain happiness himself or should it be handed to him?

It sounds innocuous. I certainly enjoy the moments I stumble into happiness, but it certainly is fleeting. Don’t get me wrong, I love my life. I have a beautiful, loving wife and three wonderful daughters. I also have chronic pain. I suffer from bouts of depression. I live in Louisiana and it gets really hot here. Happiness is nice, but at what price?

I read an article yesterday that caught me by surprise. It was denouncing gay marriage, but from the perspective of the jilted spouse. I have not heard the media report the number of families that have been torn apart because one party in the marriage decided to break the covenant. The marriage was destroyed because somebody “deserved to be happy.”

I’m a Bible believing Christian and I believe a marriage is between one man and one woman. I also believe that a marriage is for life and mustn’t be ended over trivial matters. As far as I’m concerned, regarding divorce, all matters are trivial except in the cases of spousal abuse and adultery. You certainly don’t file for divorce because you are chasing a fleeting emotion such as happiness.

Gay marriage aside, is it acceptable to pursue happiness at the expense of others? Is it appropriate for a man to abandon his wife and children so that he can be happy with a younger woman? This happens all the time. Or should we affirm the husband who always wears protection, but he cheats on his wife? He sleeps around in the name of happiness, so we must celebrate his brave action, right?

Wrong! This man is a jerk! He is an adulterer and dishonors his family with his crass behavior. What about the kids? His paychecks should be signed over to his spouse to support his children. His paramour can take care of him. How can anybody in their right mind leave his loving family in hot pursuit of happiness in the form of a 23 year old blonde woman? Not me. There’s matters of honor, love, respect, keeping your word, and numerous other virtues that pleasure seekers dismantle daily. If these cads are called adulterers when they leave for another woman, how can the man be called ‘brave’ and ‘heroic’ by divorcing his wife to marry a man?

What is required for the public to call shenanigans? A man leaves his wife for two men? Will there be public outcry because beautiful family was destroyed by a selfish man or is he just brave and heroic?

9 thoughts on “…As Long As I’m Happy”

  1. “Is it acceptable to pursue happiness at the expense of others?”–I love the thoughtfulness in this question and the article itself. And I see what you did there at the end. 😉


  2. “Will there be public outcry because beautiful family was destroyed”

    If someone in the family has a strong desire to leave that family, how can you confidently call it ‘beautiful’? Clearly at least one person doesn’t view it as beautiful. If they did, they wouldn’t want to leave.


    1. So, are you advocating that an adult in a marriage covenant should step out because it is no longer fun? That’s a big problem today. It’s not about kittens and moonbeams when you grow up, it’s time to suck it up and be a man (or woman) and fix the problems in the marriage.


      1. “So, are you advocating that an adult in a marriage covenant should step out because it is no longer fun?”

        I’m suggesting that if a person wants to end a marriage, that is indicative of some sort of larger problem.


        1. I have to agree. Instead of ending the marriage, though, people should seek to rescue the marriage whatever the cost.

          My wife and I have been married over ten years. It’s a young marriage. However, there were years where we threatened divorce until we decided that is not an option. Once there was no option to bailout, our marriage flourished.


          1. “Once there was no option to bailout”

            That sort of absolutism is ridiculous. Taken to it’s logical extreme, one spouse is physically abusing the other, but everything is fine because divorce is not an option?


          2. We determined to love each other regardless of the hurdles we encounter. We have had our fair share of adversity as I have some physical ailments that cause continuous pain.

            We didn’t marry until it was no longer convenient or until it got difficult. We married for life.

            I’m aware of the slippery slope fallacy, but if you look at the original post, I said souls all abuse and adultery were causes for divorce.

            What is your suggestion?


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