Food Idiosyncrasies…I Don’t Like White Food

I know it sounds silly. It’s a fact I haven’t shared much in the past. I haven’t even told my wife until about a month ago, though I’m sure she already suspected it.

There are some innocuous white foods like eggs, potatoes and rice, but I sincerely abhor mayonnaise, cream cheese, white milk (or milk in general)…you get the picture. There are exceptions to the rule, like when you need to use mayonnaise for tuna salad or cream cheese for a velvety peanut butter pie, but when I cook with these ingredients I have my cleansing ritual. There’s nothing worse than leaving a milk ring on the counter with the milk cap.

I’m sure my white food aversion stems from my dad’s efforts to cajole me into drinking white milk. I don’t know what his obsession was because I loved chocolate milk, but I guess at six or seven, I was his experiment in Nazi parenting.

Cajole is too soft a word. My dad was the White Milk Enforcer. Numerous times, he would wrestle me in the kitchen to pour that evil beverage down my throat. He would literally pour it down my throat after he pried my mouth open. My hatred for that ivory abomination ran so deeply that he usually ended up pouring two glasses onto my face only for it to soak us. After the fight was wrestled out of me I would finally submit so that I could brush my teeth and take a shower.

So I have an aversion to white food. It’s definitely not a hard and fast rule because to make delicious treats I frequently have to make exceptions, but I still have to scrub down like I’m about to perform an appendectomy after their use, though.

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